Fears + Anxieties of getting on the road | Solo Female SUV/Vanlife


Starting a venture is always a great and fun thought. The preparation and the planning, you could just get lost in it. I know I have, but I also have my fears and I haven't even left yet. Hang in for this one, because today I’m writing about something I haven’t even thought about up to this point. I’ve been so wrapped up in planning to go and being excited about that, but what am I afraid of? Well, let's see.


My kiddo


Although my kiddo has gone for three years and now graduated university, (Geaux Tigers!!) we've now had the great pleasure of being quarantined together and I’ve honestly gotten used to the kiddo being around all the time. While on the one hand I have someone to completely annoy me while I’m trying to write a blog or edit video or come up with ideas. I also have someone to talk to that has --as has been told to me --lived with me for twenty-two years and knows me, so trust me this kid is not giving me answers I always wanna hear. I also have someone to share my love of movies, especially horror movies.


When I was initially left alone for those three years it took a couple of weeks to adjust, but I felt like I did just fine learning how to be an empty nester. I was enjoying being a plant mom, working my massage business, a little dating too and was watching my van life videos and thinking what if? The down days had me thinking about it more than the good days of course. However, that's a regular progression in life and this is much different. We've always been pretty close and as we both grow, we grow closer. I’m blessed to have had the opportunity to grow up with my kid. I was only barely turning nineteen at the time and I quickly figured out how clueless I was, but we made it this far. So right now I am making sure that the kiddo will be fine here or wherever without mom, but having kids you never stop worrying, and at what point do you decide they've gotta figure it out? I don’t think I have that much tough love in me to just leave so far away.



Financial Security

I have built my Virtual Assistant business as a Systems Specialist. I enjoy working with Clickup and Dubsado. These are two different softwares that allow a business to organize and automate the way they run their business. What that means is, my clients and I will discuss how you’d like your business to operate and we plan how to organize your back office operations to optimize your time. I will then customize your clickup for you and your clients that will work automagically in order to keep you organized and easily in touch with your clients.


I also enjoy designing graphics and social media with Canva. My clients are then able to let me know what it is they are interested in and I can design that for them. I am ready to take on clients and praying I will earn at least two before I go or soon after I leave for me to feel comfortable with being out there. I am detrimental to not let it stop me.

I've noticed that I'm starting to have a hard time and am feeling trapped, so I'm not looking to fall into old habits and an unhealthy mental state. No matter what, I'm looking to move forward for sure, which means moving about the US and camping as much as possible, but definitely safely and not allowing myself to struggle trying to pay bills.


Money can be made, I just prefer to do it remotely.


Family

Mostly just my mother. As I mentioned in the last post, my step-father recently passed and she has MS, so she has some difficulty with mobility. She is still in good health, but could probably use a little help. I go over to make sure the heavy lifting and any small maintenance things I can do get taken care of. My fear is that her stress over losing him, trying to tie up her own loose ends with that, and his kids exacerbates her condition so I need to stay to care for her. Right now she seems to be doing as well as could be expected, but I try to check in on her every few days. However she, like me, is pretty stubborn and won’t always share that she could use more help. (I get it from my mama - Juvenile is now stuck in my head, lol) I know that regardless of what it is that I want and feel is best for me, if she needs me to, I’d stay. I think that’s why I came up with plan B before I even really thought about why I needed a plan B.


Finances are a part of the issue, but even if I had to get a seasonal job or a camp host job, I’d already decided those were definitely an option in order to stay out on the road. Unfortunately, I know that the right thing to do is stay if she needs me because she won’t move to Dallas to be closer to my sister, who moved up there to find her own peace and happiness, which I wouldn’t want to take from her. And she has three young tweens, so she has enough on her plate. I am flexible so there’s your answer to that.


Right?


Did I choose the right vehicle for the road trip?

I love driving Zola, these past few months that we've been teamed up have been great, but I know that the Montero Sport would've been better suited for off-roadish experiences. I do plan to do some things for Zola in the future, but I don't want to always be stuck to the pavement. I just knew when making my choice the Ford Bronco was not yet out and I'm not sure I wanna jump into the 1st gen anyway. I'm no gearhead by any means, but I loved that truck in the 90s and ours was too expensive to fix when it was my time to drive (ugh). I watch videos of travelers changing vehicles all the time, so of course I know it's an option, but I'd like to know that she and I could go far. I suppose it’s the fact that I chose a vehicle that while great, I don’t see folks taking it off road, but I think she has great potential. I guess we'll see when I make some improvements!



Expectations

It has crossed my mind that even though I loved the first trip, would I enjoy driving the country as much as I think I will? The first trip was a detox of sorts. I had thoughts and emotions I needed to let go of. I still do. How will going on a trip with no return date feel? I’m someone who likes to be alone, but I might get lonely because the road and an apartment are two different things. I could sit for days, weeks by myself in my apartment—that doesn’t sound healthy, maybe it's good I’m getting outdoors—but alone on the road will it be the same? I feel like I’d enjoy having a couple of people occasionally to chill out with. Maybe I’m overthinking? Perhaps I haven’t really thought about it enough.


Safety

Am I safe anywhere I go? As a woman and a Black american sometimes you can’t be too sure about where you are safest. That’s probably the one thing besides how I will be working that I look into the most. Unfortunately, I understand that everywhere isn’t safe for me and I am vigilant to make sure I am in the right places that I can feel more welcomed.



New Camper

I am a new camper and while I am ready to get out there and camp my arse off, I understand that my knowledge is like a two year old right now. While most things will take time and practice, it occurs to me that I am limited. For example, I really need to learn how to tie some knots so I can make sure my tarp stays secure.


That's only one of the things I need to learn. I will also make sure I’m learning fire safety and animal safety. Number one: where the bears are so I’m not enticing them with my grub. I think that living out of the car (Zola) will help somehow cause maybe there’s a few less things to learn, but probably not. Can you tell how clueless I am?


I’m looking forward to it though, and besides the things I need to make sure get done at home, I’m ready to go no matter how I end up feeling in the end, cause you just won’t know until you try.


TaTaForNow!



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